So my partner and I chose the Awakening from the Sleep of Inhumanity by Jon Sabrino for our critical reflection article and I chose to reflect on it by myself through the journal before we integrate our thoughts. Maybe I'm just a little apprehensive because we need to look for a shared experience and my thoughts aren't exactly in the same wavelength as hers. I was thinking more about the slumbers that Sobrino mentions in his article and what exactly triggered my awakening, if I was ever awakened really. I'm wondering if I was ever asleep from dogmatic slumber because I don't really identify with what Sobrino was describing. My family isn't really a very consistent practitioner of the faith. We don't go to mass regularly - sometimes it's intentional, but most of the time, we just forget or get caught up in how busy everybody is. I wasn't really brought up by the book per se. I did go to a Catholic school but it didn't really have much impact on me. There are also a multitute of religious denominations within our family. My maternal grandparents are part of Ang Dating Daan, while my paternal grandmother is a Born Again. I've went with them to their sessions before and they paint different pictures of God and what we should do in order to have salvation. It was safe to say that I didn't take much to the heart. I did enjoy listening, don't get me wrong, but somehow I always knew that I'm a spiritual person but not a religious one. I always knew God presents Himself in many different names but he is still God. He still loves me. I guess I was just very aware of the reality of poverty, and how we can't save everybody....or maybe I was just a bit of a Negative Nancy when I was growing up.
Then I went to thinking about where I awakened from the sleep of inhumanity. Admittedly, it was a while since I entered college. For the most part, I have been going through the motions while in school. The things we learn don't really entail me to reflect on life. I don't suddenly go "hmm what is the relevance of polymerases in self-actualization?" It wasn't until I had to study Philosophy for a year that I got forced to actually think about my life and what I was doing with it. Add that to the emotional talks Doc Sio always gives (which is like all the time) so that really makes me question how compassionate I really am and how much I really know about the "real world." Apparently, I have very limited information about myself and about the realities of society...
Then I had Project LAAN. At first, I just joined because I found it interesting. I finally went to the community. That was my first real project in the organization. I went to enroll families in Galvaville, Laguna. We got to chat and talk about life. I found out they were Ondoy victims who were relocated there by the Canossa sisters. They were only working as kangkong farmers and that doesn't earn them much. Their children can only go to school because the Canossian sisters give them scholarships. They don't have to pay for electricity or water because they payed the sisters in labor. You'd think they had a fairly comfortable life right? But no, they had no money, and couldn't pay for their health care. The first year we enrolled them, they didn't even get to use their cards. That's how inefficient the government is. We wasted so much money to enroll families and they didn't give a shit. The second year we tried to make ammends and enroll them again. Until now, they still don;t have cards and can't use their health insurance. So as the months pass by, the more I feel like the money is being wasted. It really annoys me that the governmen would just let that be. Seriously, even if you say the money could go to another person's medical care, that doesn't legitimize the fact that the people we sponsored specifically would not even get the chance at the medical care that we intented for them. I guess, looking back, I realized that that was my awakening to the world of selfishness and injustice. I can see the persecuted people. I have talked with them. I know their names and heard their stories.
It just makes me feel all the more that they are asking me to fight for them because they cannot fight for themselves anymore. I think, by asserting the offices in charge of the membership cards, I have started fighting for them. I am making known their situation. Although it is not enough, because the young are always underestimated, at least I am doing something. I realize that somehow I have something to do with it because we were the ones who approached them in the first place and I am letting them down, giving them false hpe to some extent. I guess, aside from the yearning to act in the face of injustice, I also feel guilty and that makes me want to compensate for my mistake by trying to correct it. I'm just hoping that I am not alone in this fight.
Then I went to thinking about where I awakened from the sleep of inhumanity. Admittedly, it was a while since I entered college. For the most part, I have been going through the motions while in school. The things we learn don't really entail me to reflect on life. I don't suddenly go "hmm what is the relevance of polymerases in self-actualization?" It wasn't until I had to study Philosophy for a year that I got forced to actually think about my life and what I was doing with it. Add that to the emotional talks Doc Sio always gives (which is like all the time) so that really makes me question how compassionate I really am and how much I really know about the "real world." Apparently, I have very limited information about myself and about the realities of society...
Then I had Project LAAN. At first, I just joined because I found it interesting. I finally went to the community. That was my first real project in the organization. I went to enroll families in Galvaville, Laguna. We got to chat and talk about life. I found out they were Ondoy victims who were relocated there by the Canossa sisters. They were only working as kangkong farmers and that doesn't earn them much. Their children can only go to school because the Canossian sisters give them scholarships. They don't have to pay for electricity or water because they payed the sisters in labor. You'd think they had a fairly comfortable life right? But no, they had no money, and couldn't pay for their health care. The first year we enrolled them, they didn't even get to use their cards. That's how inefficient the government is. We wasted so much money to enroll families and they didn't give a shit. The second year we tried to make ammends and enroll them again. Until now, they still don;t have cards and can't use their health insurance. So as the months pass by, the more I feel like the money is being wasted. It really annoys me that the governmen would just let that be. Seriously, even if you say the money could go to another person's medical care, that doesn't legitimize the fact that the people we sponsored specifically would not even get the chance at the medical care that we intented for them. I guess, looking back, I realized that that was my awakening to the world of selfishness and injustice. I can see the persecuted people. I have talked with them. I know their names and heard their stories.
It just makes me feel all the more that they are asking me to fight for them because they cannot fight for themselves anymore. I think, by asserting the offices in charge of the membership cards, I have started fighting for them. I am making known their situation. Although it is not enough, because the young are always underestimated, at least I am doing something. I realize that somehow I have something to do with it because we were the ones who approached them in the first place and I am letting them down, giving them false hpe to some extent. I guess, aside from the yearning to act in the face of injustice, I also feel guilty and that makes me want to compensate for my mistake by trying to correct it. I'm just hoping that I am not alone in this fight.
No comments:
Post a Comment