Today the information gathering was easier because it was structured. We had questions in our minds already and that helped us target the people we can get the most information out of. We met first with Ate Nimfa who was a midwife in one of the more damaged areas in Palo. We talked to her about the processes and workings of the RHU before the typhoon struck them. Then we helped out Super Lorna in packing up her stuff from the office and then I asked her to have lunch with us. We treated her to lunch and then once we finished eating, we bombarded her with all the questions we could think of. She was after all indispensible, so she really was the source of all the information we needed. But then that made me think of my I just got friendly with her in the first place.
I did it for personal gains only, not really to know the community more. I needed data. As a group, we were talking about how we just used her to get the data we needed. Why do i feel okay with using her, then bash her in the meetings? We got a taste of really how deep politics is running and we were also politicking because we didn't eat lunch as a group but instead ate in different places so that doc and lorna would spill the beans. We tried really hard to detatch ourselves from the system but we just got sucked in.
During our processing at night, Ma'am Dudj told us to share the highlights of the day and we started talking about how this system is so bad and how we are trying to escape it but we are already part of it. Then they talked about rethinking whether this is really where they want to go with their futures. Via and I had a conflict because the way I saw it, she was quitting. She wanted to give up because it was hard and the people were tough, and she didn't want to be part of a system that proliferates injustice. For me, we have always been part of the system and even though passively, we are still contributing to the injustice it proliferates. I thought we are in a really advantageous stand point because we have been studying this and for this. We are given this opportunity to be the change agents where we are needed.
I remember in our last DS lecture class with Anna Mae, we had a guest lecturer who was a public health practitioner. At that time, I was really contemplating what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to go into public health because I really enjoy doing the change interventions, planning for it, and studying it, but I also want to be a clinician. I want to see patients and treat illnesss. So I asked her if there was a way that I can be both at the same time. She answered no but that doesn't mean I can't make time for each. The question was shifted from "What do I want more?" to "Where am I most needed?" I said, public health but then I also said, I needed to have the clinical experience first in order to know the system better and actually lobby for changes that I know will be needed. But then isn't that just me saying I still can't decide? Isn't that just tryng to get both sides of the same coin? Being here in Leyte made me think about what how much I believed in the cause of public health. I wanted to change the system. I'm not complety sure until now but at least I'm leaning towards something.
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