So last night we decided on the building block we think we should focus on and just go back to the RHU to ask some final questions that would help us with our innovation. We met with the MHO for this then when we were done, she treated us to lunch. Again, this was someone who just met us yet she showed us so much kindness. I kind of felt ashamed because I've been biased to Super Lorna since I was able to spen two days with her and now for her to treat me like the politics never mattered was a fresh experience, especially since their system is so riddled with these politicking.
I wish we can do something so that she is not so helpess. She feels so powerless that it is saddening. The profession she has loved her whole life is now something she wants to escape from. This makes me think about whether I really want to be a doctor enough that I would spend rigorous time studying. Is this a profession I will feel satisfied in? I know that it is enjoyable but it really makes me think about why I want to be here.
Do i want to help others? Yes. Do i feel like a messiah and will be able to change the world? Yes, but I'm an idealistic teenager.... so I really have the right to feel invincible because this is the time that we are aware enough of what goes on yet we are not affected enough to have learned helplessness. Do I want in because of the pay? Yes. The prestige? Yes.
I want so hard to be selfless but the fact that I want to be helpful for the sake of being helpful is selfish. Am I capable of being selfless in the sense that I will serve others for the rest of my life? And I think, yes. I actually want to do this. I want to fight the injustce in the health sector. I firmly believe that everybody deserves a right to health. Health really does encompass all things and it is essential in character as well as capability building of a person and this in effect reaches the national level. Now I am one step closer to realizing why I am going intot he health sector. I guess it is good that I do this thinking process one step at a time so that I do not get overwhelmed by everything that is going on in the world. There are so many problems, so many challenges that I want to fix and then I remember what Doc said about saying "I can." I know I can fix the problems of the world, just not right now, and not all at once. I'm in my training ground and I hope I never lose this drive to stop injustice. Jesus said to be child-like but I think he missed out when he didn't say be teen-like as well. I happen to love very much that I am an idealistic teenager that feels invincible. It makes me believe the world has hope for new beginnings.
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